Mind Traps - Part Seven

Trapped by perfection.

I’ve worked with many clients that get trapped by this. Many begin with the thoughts – “I’m not good enough” or “I need to learn more before I can proceed” or “I need to know it all first” or “I need to prove myself……”

Having these thoughts has often led to feelings of inadequacy, dread, anxiety, sadness, anger…..

These feelings have led to behaviors such as angry outbursts, paralysis, blaming…..

The results of these behaviors were less than favorable. Not what the leaders wanted.

I experienced this myself early in my career post-graduate school. I had a supportive and empathic supervisor who helped me realize I was good, and NO ONE expected perfection. If someone is ‘perfect’ how then will they learn and grow?

I’ve noticed clients getting trapped in “I – I – I - I need to know all, be all…” when leadership must include, WE. It’s in the we - knowing what your team or others think, feel, know, need, and want – that creates better results.

AND if we view ourselves through this mind trap lens, we may view others from this same lens and expect perfection. A no win situation. This is especially important for leaders.

What are the questions to ask yourself for this mind trap?

Question 1: What would happen if I simply asked for help? This is where vulnerability and humility are useful to embrace. Remember, you’re human.

Question 2: What may I learn from failure? Failure is a large part of success. You sometimes need to fail to learn and move forward and develop resilience.

You may realize that moving away from this trap benefits your relationships, your kindness towards yourself, your empathy and compassion towards others.