Mind Traps - Part Six

Trapped by family role or prophecy.

Organizations are breeding grounds for folks to re-enact or perpetuate their own family dynamics. This is most often an unconscious process – it just happens.[i] Families are systems, just like organizations. Simplified - there are people or a person at the helm – most often mom and dad (in the workplace known as the boss, manager, or leader); there are siblings or the lack there of (in the workplace known as colleagues and teams). AND there is a way of behaving in the family system, for better or for worst, learned behavior without much opportunity to experience and see things differently. Sometimes there’s a multi-generational force at play that unconsciously rules us. Beliefs so deep, we may not even be aware of them.[ii]

There are ways to counter this. Recall the Emotional Agility Path©. Thought (aka mind trap), then feelings, then the fork. If the feelings are pushing you to the left, stop. Take some time reflect. Ask yourself these questions.

Question 1: How is the role I play at work familiar to roles I’ve played or seen? Does the same dynamics follow you to different positions in your company or different employers?

Question 2: What are the similar feelings I have in my workplace to the ones I had (have) with my family? Sometimes thoughts and behaviors aren’t obvious to us, but feelings are there, inside of you. Pay attention to them. Are the feelings a prelude to the answer from question #1?

If thoughts and feeling are being dictated by learned dynamics, being hijacked by past experiences, that can create issues. Once these blind spots are revealed, understood, and old thoughts are replaced (with practice, practice, practice), new feelings, behaviors, and results emerge.

[i] This is All I Know – How Family and Company Dynamics Blur – CEOWorld, Halewski, Paula

[ii] I Feel Like a Fake - Thrive Global, Halewski, Paula