What Does Attachment Theory have to do with Coaching? Part 3: Case Study

The last two weeks, I focused on attachment theory and its relationship to coaching. We explored two concepts – secure base and safe haven.

Meet Mitch (name changed) who came to me as he inherited a large team that seemed to be working against each other. He wanted to lead his team in a manner that brought them together. He tried speaking with them directly about his concerns, but no one shared their views on it. Mitch felt overwhelmed. He experienced anxiety in the mornings before work, and even felt dread on a few occasions.

Within the coaching relationship, we developed a safe haven for Mitch to explore his feelings and make sense of them and work on emotional regulation. He realized that if he was experiencing these feelings, it’s possible others on the team were too. He recognized his team did not feel trust or safety.

We co-created some small practices to begin to develop trust and safety, which included Mitch being vulnerable and sharing his authentic feelings with his team and wondering if others were feeling similarly. Many on his team did. He came back to his secure base, the coaching relationship, to discuss what worked well, what didn’t, and what he’d like to practice next.

Mitch modeled the concepts of secure base and safe haven to his staff. Slowly, his staff began to feel more trust and safety. They began co-creating their workspace to enhance collaboration and being their authentic selves.

Mitch’s overwhelmed feeling went away. His anxiety significantly decreased, and he no longer felt dread. He learned many members of the team also reported a decrease in those feelings and an increase in happiness. He learned that because he simply asked them to make conversations about such things a matter of day-to-day interaction.

It came true - individuals shared their authentic selves and felt safe to be vulnerable, which led to deeper connections and a greater sense of belonging.

The team started doing some of their best work by bringing their best selves to the table.