Emotional Intelligence

The last six weeks, I wrote about mind trap choice, how defenses can hijack you, how learned behaviors influence mind traps, power issues, circumstance & context, and judgment. Here’s number six in the mind trap arsenal - emotional intelligence (EQ).

Emotional Intelligence (EQ). There are 15 EQ elements[i] and where you currently are on the scale of each of these elements, effects mindset, or in the case here, mind traps. Let’s review the EQ elements:

The Self-Perception Composite consists of Self-Regard, Self-Actualization, and Emotional Self-Awareness.

1.        Self-Regard is the ability and tendency to like yourself and be self-confident.

2.       Self-Actualization is the ability to set goals and reach your potential.

3.       Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to know what you are feeling and why.

The Self-Expression Composite consists of Interpersonal Emotional Expression, Assertiveness, and Independence.

1.       Emotional Expression is the ability and tendency to communicate your feelings with the world around you.

2.       Assertiveness is the ability and tendency to speak your mind and make your ideas and needs known.

3.       Independence is the ability to go your own way and be autonomous.

The Interpersonal Composite consists of Interpersonal Relationships, Empathy, and Social Responsibility.

1.       Interpersonal Relationship is the ability to build and nurture mutually satisfying personal relationships the include trust and compassion.

2.       Empathy is the ability and tendency to care about what other people feel and need.

3.       Social Responsibility is the ability and tendency to help people and contribute to the greater good of society.

The Decision-Making Composite consists of Problem Solving, Reality Testing, and Impulse Control.

1.       Problem Solving is the ability to solve problems with the help of emotions (yours and others’).

2.       Reality Testing is the ability and tendency to use what is actually, objectively happening to ground you and inform communication, emotional reactions, and decisions.

3.       Impulse Control is the ability to delay an initial impulse to do or say something.

The Stress Management Composite consists of Flexibility, Stress Tolerance, and Optimism.

1.        Flexibility is the ability and tendency to take in new data and change your mind or emotions when appropriate.

2.       Stress Tolerance is the ability to remain functional and effective when faced with stress.

3.       Optimism is the tendency and ability to look to the future with hope and see at least the possibility of a positive outcome – even in the face of stress or disappointment.

Also included in EQ is Happiness – a general wellbeing that impacts each of the 15 EQ elements while also being influenced by them.

The left end of the scale indicates the EQ element is underdeveloped, the right end of the scale indicates over development. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle. For example, the left end of the Self-Regard scale may show up as a lack of confidence (underdeveloped Self-Regard and possibly afraid to try new things); the right end may show up as arrogance (over developed Self-Regard and possibly closed off to learning because you ‘know it all’). The middle may show up as confident and open to learn and try new things.

What may be a mind trap if at the left end? What may be a mind trap at the right end of the scale? How may that show up in the workplace or as a leader?

[i] MHS-OKA, Rutledge, Hile