What Can Be Done About Toxic Team Behaviors? Part 1

There are many types of behaviors that can interfere with effective functioning on a team or in any relationship. However, there are four well-known ones defined by John M. Gottman, PhD, that definitely will.

1.    Blaming

2.    Stonewalling

3.    Contempt

4.    Defensiveness

We’ll look at each one. See if you recognize them, and the effects they have had for you, on you, in your relationships, and on your team.

Today, we’ll explore BLAMING.

Characteristics of Blaming:

1.    Avoidance of Responsibility: Blamers tend to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or decisions and instead shift the blame onto others. This can create a cycle of finger-pointing where the actual issues are left unresolved.

2.    Lack of Accountability: Blamers often refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes or contributions to a problem, which can hinder the growth and improvement of both individuals and teams.

3.    Negative Communication: Blaming often involves negative and accusatory language. Blamers might use phrases like "It's not my fault" or "You're the one who messed up," which can escalate conflicts and create a hostile environment.

4.    Destruction of Trust: Constant blaming erodes trust within relationships and teams. When individuals don't take responsibility for their actions, it creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and skepticism.

Effects of Blaming:

1.    Damaged Relationships: Blaming can strain relationships as individuals feel unfairly targeted and unappreciated. It can lead to resentment, anger, and distance between people.

2.    Reduced Problem-Solving: When blame is the primary focus, finding solutions takes a backseat. People become preoccupied with assigning fault rather than working together to address the underlying issues.

3.    Stifled Growth and Learning: Blamers miss out on opportunities for personal growth and development because they refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes and learn from them.

4.    Decreased Morale: In team settings, constant blaming can lead to a toxic and demoralizing work environment. Team members might become fearful of making decisions or taking initiative due to the fear of being blamed.

5.    Ineffective Communication: Blaming hampers effective communication because people become defensive and guarded, making it difficult to have open and productive discussions.

Addressing Blaming:

1.    Promote Accountability: Encourage individuals to take responsibility for their actions and mistakes. Emphasize a culture of learning and growth rather than punishment.

2.    Focus on Solutions: Shift the focus from blame to finding solutions. Encourage open discussions about problems and work collaboratively to find ways to address them.

3.    Lead by Example: Leaders should model accountability and constructive communication. When leaders take ownership of their own mistakes, it sets a positive tone for the entire team.

4.    Practice Empathy: Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's important to approach conflicts and problems with empathy rather than blame.

5.    Encourage Feedback: Create an environment where people feel comfortable providing feedback to each other. This can foster a culture of open communication and continuous improvement.

Addressing blaming behavior requires a concerted effort from all parties involved. By promoting accountability, focusing on solutions, and fostering open communication, the negative effects of blaming can be mitigated, leading to healthier relationships and more productive teams.