The Respectful Leader

Leaders with position power need to understand that their behaviors influence in ways that create a respectful or disrespectful environment. This happens when one has position power but lacks personal power (e.g., emotional intelligence, empathy, gratitude, etc.). This combination may foster a disrespectful environment. Why? Because position power can disinhibit people. One may believe there is a lack of consequences to their own disrespectful behavior. This type of belief can lead to a hostile work environment as folks will copy the leader. There are consequences to this though that can be quite costly to the company. Research has shown the number one reason people leave their jobs is because of a toxic work environment and disrespectfulness is clearly a part of it.

What does a respectful leader practice?

1.    They observe and read feedback. They notice how people are responding, in particular non-verbal cues. For example, when some are having a whispering conversation, they notice others fall silent and grimace. When some disengage, they notice the context.

2.    They intervene when others are being disrespectful. Even with high-performing contributors, if they are bullying or harassing, they call them out on their behavior and even terminate them. I’ve seen firsthand what terminating a bullying high performer can do. Together with the leader, we watched the whole team rise.

3.    They have open and frequent discussions about respect. This proactive approach sets the stage in their culture. It demonstrates the values of the leader and the norms to uphold.

4.    They encourage people to report disrespectful behavior AND take action. They treat it with seriousness and do not make excuses. They ensure that the disrespectful behavior stops.

I understand that being respectful in a disrespectful culture may seem daunting and be difficult if one wants to belong. That’s when the leader themselves needs to decide to stand firm in their values and create a pocket of excellence or leave for an organization that shares their values.