The Amygdala – A Client’s Story

One thing I often hear from clients is they go from meeting to meeting with little time in between. Here’s a conversation I recently had (and had similar ones many times). My client came in wanting to talk about how he presents in meetings sometimes.

This is after we were discussing it for a bit….

Me - “What happens when negative feelings arise in one meeting, and you go right into another one?”

Client - “Sometimes the feeling follows me and I’m not fully there in the next meeting. It’s hard to listen, I can be grumpy. It can be exhausting.”

Me – “What would happen if you mediated or went for a walk or…… for a few minutes in between meetings to calm yourself and focus on how you’d like to be in the next meeting?”

Client – “I don’t have time for that!”

Me – “What’s the benefit to having the feeling follow you and you’re not fully there in the next meeting. It’s hard to listen, and you can be grumpy and exhausted?’

Client – “None really.”

Me – “What’s the risk?”

Client – “I’ve missed important things and sounded off on people that didn’t deserve it. I’ve also brought shit home with me. That doesn’t go well for anyone.”

Me – “How do you know negative feelings are present? Where in your body do you feel it?”

Client – “I can feel it in my chest or gut. I get tight in either place. Sometimes both when I’ve really upset.”

Me – “Great! Not that you’re feeling that way, but do you notice that you can recognize it?”

Client – “Yes!”

Me – “What if you thought about that sensation as a cue?”

Client – “A cue? A way to know I need to get it together and calm the hell down?”

Me – “Yeah, how would that help?”

Client – “If I paid attention to it, I’ll know I need to chill before I do my next thing.”

Me – “How would you chill?”

Client – After thinking a bit - “A set of crunches and stretch.”

Me – “How long does it take for you to do a set of crunches and stretch?”

Client – With a smile – “I can do a set of 50 crunches and stretch in less than 5 minutes.”

Me – “Impressive. How do you feel after you do that?”

Client – “Believe it or not, calm and strong.”

Me – “That’s awesome. How would it be for you to donate 5 minutes of your time to that practice when you notice the feelings?”

Client – “I think that would really help.”

Me – “How?”

Client – “I’m better when I’m calm and strong. Never thought about it like that. I’m full of energy but calm after I exercise in the morning. It’s a great way to start the day. Never thought about doing a set during the day.”

Me – “How can you put that into practice?”

Client – “Honestly, I can go to the meeting and just turn off my camera and mic for 5 minutes if the meeting is back-to-back. If it’s not, then I can just do it.”

Me – “Like Nike says.”

Client – Laughing – “Yeah, just do it.”

Me – “Can’t wait to hear how it goes.”

It worked. He added push-ups and burpees to his practice. So, he either does crunches, push-ups, or burpees and then stretches. He changed the practice since he found he needed to calm more than once on some days. Still, only five minutes or less each time. He also likes the results to his physique. Two for one bonus.

If you’d like to talk about this more, schedule a time.

#neuroscience #emotionalintelligence #leadershipcoaching #mindset