Reality or Fiction

A component of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. Being self aware is critical if a powerful emotion or a impulse to behave in a particular way is upon you. One of the things we can do to ourselves is create a story about an event, a person, an experience that may not be based in reality but rather based on another experience(s).

This is particularly important for leaders. Leaders are models for all around them. If you explode, that leads to consequences for you. Shame, guilt….. certainly not an inspirational behavior for anything other than fear from those around you. Or implode leading to you shutting down, embracing pessimism - more consequences. These are extreme examples but you get the idea - there is a continuum in between these two poles.

Here’s a fact, you’re human - we all are and sometime behaviors with unwelcome consequences happen. But what if its a pattern? That’s when exploring the trigger(s) is very helpful. Getting on the balcony is wonderful for this. In the thought > feeling > behavior > results paradigm, examining each step reveals the truth to the question - was the emotion or the behavior based in reality or not. Reality = something that actually happened, a real, concrete event that others corroborate or Fiction = something invented, imagined. If its the former, then a work on the behavioral response to achieve the desired results is in order. If it’s the latter, then work on reality testing is in order. Either way, the strengths within you will prevail when explored in a safe environment with a trusted partner.