Insight is Truly Transformational….

A wonderful client of mine wanted to work on a perpetual feeling of being overwhelmed. He wanted to have time to focus on strategy but found his time being usurped even after blocking time on his calendar to focus his attention. A summary….

What was happening? With each curious question, clarity was gained.

He connected his value with being needed. A long-held belief he learned from his father.

What does being needed look like?

He gave a very animated description of people showing up at all times “needing” something from him. He was 100% accessible. During the time he blocked off to focus on strategic thinking, he found himself checking email to see if anyone “needed” him, telling himself that if he could just get through all the emails, he could THEN focus.

He had another strongly held belief – “I trust my staff and I want to help create autonomous functioning in my staff.”

He’s very close with his staff and describes them as quite empathic. The curiosity was peaking….

How is being 100% accessible demonstrating trust in your staff and valuing autonomous functioning?

“It really doesn’t.”

Lightbulb began to illuminate.

What would it look like if your empathic staff senses your value comes from being needed?

Lightbulb became brighter.

“It would look like a continuous stream of questions for me, needing me, even when they could figure it out on their own. Wow. I don’t want to do that – I want to demonstrate the trust that I have for them, to have them be and feel autonomous.”

What does the former look like?

“A revolving door, a loop, that keeps them coming back to me and keeps me feeling overwhelmed.”

What does the latter look like?

“A path away from me with the trust and tools for autonomy.”

What is your biggest takeaway from today?

“The loop makes it about me. The path makes it about them.”

Brilliant.